Take some of this CyberClean stuff – cyberclean.tv, scale it up to the size of a medium sized dog and make it artificially intelligent. Then, assign it to both the Equipment and the Hygiene Officer – or just one of them. Or both, but in shifts. The unnatural pooch – nicknamed Clean Sweep after some dog from an Old Reckoning infotainment series – looks like an enormous lump of bright yellow silly putty, with four formless leg-like appendages, but no apparent head or sensory equipment. Indeed, the Sweep seems to swap ends when least expected.
The material has cleaning and anti-bacterial properties such that wrapping it around almost anything lifts off surface dirt immediately, but also gets at those hard to reach bits. It can clean almost any material – from fabric through plastics to metals, as well as a range of organics, like timber, flora or skin. Apply it to a filthy weapon to get it sparkling clean, or remove ground in stains from your uniform. Try it on floors, keyboards, tankbot tracks, dirty Commie mutant traitors and more besides.
Yeah, when you get skin in contact with it, it sometimes pulls out hairs, the greasy content of pores and the occasional ill-protected eyeball or toenail. Occasionally, cleaning a weapon results in a thorough external and internal clean that might possibly include removal of bullet-sized pieces of metallic grit. Possibly, if used on careful signed and identified R&D equipment, it might remove surface paint, labelling and ink – leaving you with a sparkling clean device and a world of opportunity remembering how to use it, or deactivate it. And sometimes, the great yellow lump goes wandering off and tries to make friends with citizens of senior security clearance to your own, cleaning anything and everything for the Good of Alpha Complex. It should respond to it’s handler, if addressed by name, and has a series of security protocols in place to ensure the absolute safety of all citizens, so there’s nothing to worry about. Unless the handler’s dead, or missing – or gets incorrectly reassigned after the original handler suffers a fatal accident.